It appears nothing is sacred for men anymore. Women are now standing up to pee. Yes, that’s right… women are peeing while standing up by the tens of thousands! A new invention that is making its way through Europe called the “She Pee” is becoming very popular among female concert goers. Many of the large music festivals throughout Europe are using She Pees to cut down on the bathroom lines. The “new” technology allows many women to stand at the same time and use urinal trough to urinate into. Each lady is given a disposable paper/cardboard She Pee device that looks like a shoe. This is placed in the nether region and allows the woman to urinate standing up without any spillage. What next?

A week ago, last Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 12:05 pm 99.1 WHFS was taken off the air. 99.1 WHFS played “alternative” rock for almost twenty-eight years in the Washington/Baltimore area. They now play Latino/Spanish salsa music! 01-12-05 at 12:05 WHFS abruptly and without any type of warning to its listenership changed format and fired all of its employees.

Unfortunately, ratings were the reason for this format change. WHFS had become a secondary station for many radio listeners in the Washington/Baltimore area. As a matter of fact I didn’t even have WHFS programmed into my radio anymore.

I was a religious listener of WHFS while in high school and college and it never left my dial unless I traveled out of range. After all, WHFS was one of the leading stations in the area to break up in coming band such as “The Flaming Lips” and “Oasis”. Without WHFS I would have discovered “new” bands months later than WHFS would debut them. Without WHFS I would have never made it through the all-nighters where I stayed up writing papers or my thesis. They also aired “Loveline” every week night from 10pm until 12am which I listened to routinely and gained an informal education while in college.

Though I never attended one, WHFS put on one hell of a music festival every summer. I would often hear the festival broadcast live and often wished I was there (except the summer when several people where killed and injured from the lightening strike). The festivals are what people will probably miss most about WHFS.

Why the downfall of WHFS? Only the management can truly answer that question but I have two observations. One, WHFS Disc Jockeys often seemed as if they were talking down to their listeners and not to the listener. It was often hard to relate to the Disc Jockeys as they seemed far removed from reality at times. Second, the type of music they played, “alternative” while in style in the 1980s and 1990s is no long alternative. Alternative music has now become so fashionable that its now really considered mainstream rock and pop.

Yes, it’s sad to see something that was once such a staple in people’s lives come to such a downward spiral and eventual death. Now the competition is smaller as 98 Rock and DC 101 are the last of the remaining true “all rock” stations. I do like 98 Rock and their Disc Jockeys seem to be fairly entertaining but the music programming has a little to be desired. This is why, like H. Stern, I am switching to commercial free satellite radio next weekend. It was either learn Spanish and then date a Puerto Rican woman so that I could continue to occasionally listen to WHFS or just switch to something such as satellite radio as an excuse to spend more money and purchase more gadgetry for my vehicle.

Two items: It appears the Mac product rumors I listed in last weeks post are all very true now. http://www.apple.com I am glad this is the case otherwise I would have been greatly disappointed.

Second, Committed (all new episode) comes on NBC tonight at 9:30pm. Please let me know what you think, post your comments!

Peak Ouch,

-DJ Webb

Last night at 8:30pm I watched the second installment of NBC’s Committed. Committed is a romantic comedy that NBC hopes will become its next “Friends.” I saw the promos for the show since the late part of November 2004 and I must say I was intrigued.

Josh Cooke plays the leading male as Nate Solomon while Jennifer Finnigan plays the leading lady as Marni Fliss. The pilot show that debuted earlier this week begins with Nate and Marni as 20 something singles living in New York trying to find the perfect mate. Nate and Marni accidentally end up on a blind date together where they hit it off. They soon realize that they are each on the wrong blind date and that Nate had accidentally picked up the wrong person, Marni. As stereotypical plots go you can kind of figure the rest out on your own… they each return back to their correct blind dates and hate the experience and then end up dating each other a few nights later.

The shows writers try to spice things up by making Nate very neurotic and Marni as very compulsive and awkward. This is cute and entertaining for the first five minutes of the show but then this is overdone. Somehow it’s become cool to be mentally ill in television; more like its cool, hip, and fashionable to be mentally ill in society! I’ve noticed a ton of shows have gone the mentally ill route – look at Monk, Seinfeld and Will and Grace to name a few. Committed seems to be just reusing some “Something About Mary” discarded scripts.

All is not lost though; the show has one edgy and entertaining factor: Darius McCray who plays Bowie James. Bowie James plays a black man that is friends with Marni. Nate is extremely uncomfortable around Bowie who appears as the only person of color in the show. So how is this entertaining you ask? Bowie is not only black but he is in a wheelchair. That is where the true raw and witty humor of the show comes in. The show has so many borderline inappropriate handicapped jokes that I laugh so hard I forget to breath. Committed has more handicapped humor than any show I ever seen! Though “Becker” was a show that had its share with the black blind gentleman, Committed takes things to a whole new level.

Tom Poston who is best known from “Newhart” plays a clown that lives in Marni’s closet. Newhart was one of my favorite shows and seeing Tom play the Clown gives the show a slight Newharty feel. The clown role does add an entertaining dynamic to the show.

While I am not completely into the Nate and Marni mental illness love, I am hooked into the show by the handicapped humor. I have already Tivo(ed) the show and hope that Committed continues to roll out the sharp situational handicapped comedy. I encourage everyone to watch it just once and if you like the show Scrubs I am fairly certain you’ll enjoy watching Committed as the style of humor is similar.

-DJ Webb

It seems Apple computer is poised to gain a stronger foothold in the PC market. Apple has maintained only a six to ten percent share of the PC sales market over the years. That is until next week when its rumored Apple will announce its sub $500 desktop unit and new office suite (iWorks). One of consumers’ complaints about Apple was in regards to the high price for Apple hardware. The other complaint is that Apple doesn’t have nearly the amount of software titles available as Windows based PCs. Well with the new economy-based Mac selling for a rumored $450 this should quickly end the Apple over-pricing issue. After all, the cheapest economy Dell system goes for about $450 too. That economy Dell comes with an operating system and the hardware basics while the new Econo-Mac is rumored to included iWorks and iLife. iWorks would include all of your typical office programs (spreadsheet, word processor, presentation application) and iLife would include your media applications (picture/media viewer and editor and music center). The choice would be quite simple for me if I was new to the PC market – buy a Mac.

You are saying “okay” but the Mac still doesn’t run or support the same amount of program applications as a Window PC. I must say I agree with you and that this is an issue that Mac owners have struggled with overtime. Many hope Steve Jobs may be able to change this drawback for the Mac.

In the mean time keep an eye out for Apple’s new 1 GB flash iPod player that should retail inexpensively. It’s nice to know that Jobs and his bots are finally getting the message that cheaper Apple hardware and software will attract new Apple branded buyers.

–DJ “Black Big Mac” Webb

My New Year’s Resolutions (in order of potential accomplishment)

1. Donate to the tsunami victims
2. Purchase beachfront property in Sri Lanka or Seychelles
3. Finish Dissertation
4. Get a girlfriend
5. Gain more weight
6. Save money to buy the new Apple ‘puter with the Blu-Ray ROM
7. Lose weight
8. Go to the Netherlands and Germany
9. Father a child overseas
10. Dump girlfriend once back home in US
11. Get excited about being single for Christmas 2005!
12. Beat Loki at Risk!

Every once in a while, when you’re snacking on a bag of Cheetos, at the bottom you might find a little nugget of death. I’m not sure what causes these little guys, but they are pure evil. Brownish orange in color and denser than a normal Cheeto, the “Burnt Cheeto” tastes pretty foul. We got two of them in this bag of Cheetos Crunchy.

On a Cheeto related note, I also recently bought a bag of Cheetos Twisted. I thought I was just getting a bag of normal “puffy” Cheetos, and in a way, I did. They had the same consistency as the “puffy” Cheetos, but instead of a curl, they are cork screw shaped. The first one I ate caught me off guard, as I put the whole thing in my mouth, not realizing each one is a good 3-3.5″ long and 1-1.5″ in diameter. I almost choked on the thing. These are big honkers.

Typing this post made me realize how stupid the names “Cheetos Crunchy” and “Cheetos Twisted” are. I guess “Cheetos Puffs” kind of makes sense, but wouldn’t you much rather say “Crunchy Cheetos” or “Twisted Cheetos?”

A lot of people (who shall remain nameless) think God is a stick in the
mud for creating the universe and not taking responsibility for it.  They
say trite stupid shit like, “I can’t believe in God, because how can I
believe in an all-powerful being that could make such a messed up world.”

101 philosophy may wow her over wine, but I’m not her, nor would I employ
that method of attack to get in her pants.  Instead I’d tell her, “God is
a stoned teenager, who steals his parent’s car so he can hotrod around
town all the while never knowing the true root of his delinquency.  He’s
the greatest artist of all time, full of self loathing and directionless
angst.  I heard he was the 4th member of Nirvana.  Now show me your
breasts – I love you.”

Continue reading Report from the Mall: Christmas 2004 →

Let me tell you a little story. It’s called “Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray Soda Sucks Raw Ass.” I saw it in the store and figured I’d try it out. Unfortunately, they only had a six pack, which means I have 5 cans of this crap left over after I got done dumping the first one out.

When I first cracked open the can and smelled it, all I thought of was vinegar. Others backed up my opinion. Its lightly colored like champagne, lightly carbonated, and tastes vaguely like really sweet, really weak ginger ale. Or something. The point is, it’s fucking nasty. I have no idea what this guy is talking about. Of course, his website is called “Peculiar Pops!
The Michie’s Exotic Soda Site,” yet there is not one carbonated drink on “The Best” page.

Steer clear.

The other day, we were about to cook some Pillsbury butter flake crescent rolls to complement our dinner, when the recipe on the side of the canister caught my eye. Crescent dogs sounded like a good idea. We had the hot dogs. We had the cheese. Sounds like a winner.

The recipe is simple. Cut the dogs, stuff some cheese in, and wrap them with the crescent roll dough. Two tips:

1. When you cut the hot dogs for the cheese stuffing, don’t cut them end to end. If one makes a “pocket” in the hot dog, the cheese won’t melt out the end.
2. Flatten the dough triangle with your fingers some to make it wider before wrapping so you can get better coverage on the dogs.

Thats it. Throw ’em in the oven and you’re finished. I found they needed to be cooked a good deal long than the directions stated so that the bread cooked through. Though if you eat this stuff raw sometimes like we do, its no big deal if they are a little undercooked.

On a side note, I searched the web briefly to see if anyone talks about eating Pillsbury dough raw and all I got were sites about eating cookie dough. The first site is some blog. The post about cookie dough has an interesting comment (3rd one down). I never thought of eating lard…