So yesterday I used some Cool Mint Listerine mouth wash. I then ate a piece of Wrigley’s Winterfresh gum immediately afterwards. It was the most unsatisfying piece of gum I’ve ever eaten. All of the flavor of the gum was completely masked by the lingering after effects of the Listerine. By the time the Listerine wore off, the gum had lost all flavor and sugar. Yum.

I sweat a lot. When I say a lot, I mean A LOT. I sweat enough that deodorant is a very big deal to me. Anti-perspirant doesn’t stop me. At all. What it does do is make me not smell as much. I can live with that. What I’ve had problems living with is the fact that I ruin shirts with my deodorant impregnated sweat. I’ve hopped around to various types; normal stick, gels, roll-on, etc.¹ After a good 10 years of dedicated deodorant experimentation, I finally settled on plain old Ban roll-on, Regular or Powder Fresh. It looks like this:

I went to the store today to get a new stick. I couldn’t find it. The thought running through my head was, “How the fuck could this enormous grocery store not carry Ban deodorant?” I looked and looked and then finally saw this on the shelf:

Now, we get to the meat of this post. Why the redesign? What on God’s green Earth motivated the odor-free people at Ban to change the color on a stick of deodorant? And why this awful yellowish-green?

¹ No sprays for me.

My Favorite Mustard

Inglehoffer mustard is incredible. I suggest you try some out. So far, we’ve had the stone ground (probably the best), the honey mustard, the extra hot mustard, and the horseradish (not mustard, but still good). They’re all top quality and kick butt.

Unique to Beaver Run?

When Brian and I were kids in elementary school (Beaver Run), there was a joke about mustard. Ok, it was more of a one-liner. It was simply this:

Mustard is a compound word.¹

We thought it was great. Actually I still think it is. It combines scatological humor, rhyming, and a little bit of schoolin’, all in one 5 word sentence.

Ok, so now you know the joke. I figured some thing like this was all over the place in the late ’80s when Brian and I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Apparently not. I think it was unique to Beaver Run.

After searching in Google for the phrase “mustard is a compound word,” I was able to find one site where this phrase existed: deviantART. I don’t know what that site is about and I’m a bit afraid to check it out. One of the users on deviantART must know of the phrase.. Somebody mentions it in the comments section on the user’s “home page” on deviantART and I also saw it in the user’s signature on another “home page” on said site.

Anyway, I’d be interested in hearing back from others as to whether or not they grew up with this classic of comedy.

¹ Just in case you guys don’t get it, it’s like “Must-turd”…

I’ve been an avid user of Irish Spring for years. I used to always use the original kind. When the blue kind came out, I tried that but was dissatisfied with it, so I returned back to the green. I did move over to the Aloe kind when it became available. Sport and Icy Blast never interested me.

Continue reading I Wanna Be MicroClean →

While I was typing the last post this morning, I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. Since it was early in the morning and nobody else was up, this startled me. I looked down, and there was a fucking cat. Mind you, we don’t own a cat.

I chased it without thinking and it ran upstairs and into my bedroom. I then chased it back downstairs, being sure to shut the doors to the bedroom and bathroom. The cat beat me downstairs, and with that, disappeared.

I’m assuming it came in through the basement. The door to the basement was cracked open the whole time, and when I first spotted the cat, I was sitting right next to this door. There must be a hole down there that it got in through and consequently escaped through.

I hate that cat. It’s the same mother fucker that always sits on my car right after I wash it.