Things forgotten

I remember some of the things that I used to love when I was a kid. Two prominent ones that have popped up recently in my life are long underwear and knives.

I bought a pocket knife. I’m always in need of something to cut open packages or whatever, so I finally just bought one at Target. I’ve used it so many times in the last week, it’s awesome. And it’s small. Again, as a child, I, like most boys, loved knives. I should have remembered those lessons learned as a kid.

I was cutting something in my office today (a string or something similar), and my female office mate goes, “You have a knife in your pocket?!?! That’s kind of scary!” Whatever. Comments like that show you exactly what is wrong with the world today. Yes, its a pocket knife. The blade is 2 fucking inches long. What the hell am I going to do with that? It’s actually useful to have a knife. Why have people become super-sensitive to this stuff?

I didn’t quite realize how cold your legs get in pants. Well, I realized it, but never really thought about fixing it. I got a bike recently to commute, and in case you haven’t noticed, its below freezing outside, so riding around in a pair of jeans just isn’t going to cut it. So I got ‘wicking athletic tights,’ which is just fancy speak for tights. They go right under your pants and they are made out of some material that supposedly dries really quick, so it doesn’t become a soggy mess when you sweat in them. Why we didn’t have materials like this when I played sports, I’ll never know.

Briefly, (ha, pun intended), long underwear rocks. We loved long underwear as kids.

7 thoughts on “Things forgotten

  1. Yeah and footy PJs. And sliding down the stairs in them or a sleeping bag.

    Upon reflection, sliding down the stairs in a sleeping bag was pretty dangerous (and scary). Far more stupid-freak-accident-break-your-neck-scary than a 2 inch pocket knife.

  2. Knife: A little weird, I’ve carried a knife for years and always sort of feared someone would freak out about it, but no one ever has. Only place I’ve made sure not to carry it was on an airplane.

    Long Underwear: I never cared for this stuff one way or the other, especially as a kid. But now that you mention it maybe I should. I bike to work myself when I can, but when the temperature dips below about 50F I have to stop. Even with long pants my legs freeze, and it always seems my inner thighs and nads take the brunt of the cold for some reason. Long underwear might be that extra bit of defense I need.

    Footy PJs: I hated these things as a kid. We had PJs with abrasion-resistant flexible plastic foot-soles. I remember at night getting tucked into bed and my feet would start to sweat. Having sweaty plastic pressed against the bottoms of my feet was not comfortable at all. I remember trying to arch my feet to minimize contact or finally resorting to taking off my pants. No child of mine will wear a similar piece of clothing if I can help it. Cloth-bottomed footies maybe though.

    Sleeping Bag Slide: Never tried this. I wish we had our own private stairwell around here I could give it a shot though.

  3. Pete, RE: biking — I just started and its been about 28-30 when I ride. All I’ve been wearing is this: tights and a similar top, something made out of polyester with a dash of spandex does the job. On top of that, a polyester fleece pullover and a sweatshirt or wind breaker. On the bottom, a pair of pants. It really does wonders. Make sure you stay away from cotton.

    Oh, and gloves.

  4. Knife: I used to carry a Swiss army knife with me at all times as a pre-teen. I particularly liked the collapsible set of teeny scissors. Mostly, I used it to carve soap, until I sliced open my finger. After that it sat unused in my desk drawer for several years. It has since been confiscated by a member of an airport security force, who thought I was going to hijack a plane with a knife smaller and duller than the plastic spoons they issue with airline meals.

    Long johns: I own a set, but I think I’ve only worn the top, and that’s only been to sleep. I am grumpily donning it in my college practice room ID photo (for which I was told about the morning of, when I happened to wake up ten minutes before class and had run to campus in my jammies). I imagine I would wear them, though, if I was within biking distance to anything worth visiting (without having to cross a major highway).

    Sleeping bag slide: I desperately wanted to do this as a kid. However, our stairs were curved, much like in our place now. Any attempt to slide down that staircase would be thwarted by a hard, unforgiving concrete wall. The Grays are lucky enough to have stairs that spill out directly to the front door – did you guys ever try a move like on Home Alone and fly out into the front yard?

  5. Actually Megan, the stairs don’t shoot out the front door. They end in a wall; the front door is exactly one stair width displaced to the side.

  6. Well, then I suppose you never tried the Home Alone stunt. You would have met the same fate as me sliding down my stairs. Too bad.

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