When Mike and I first moved into the house we currently live, we were recording a lot of music. Most of the tracks we haven’t put up on the site yet. A lot of them were for an aborted project called “Night Caller.” It originally started out as one song, then it grew a sequel, and in true “Mike” fashion it spiraled out of control into a 12 song concept album. Needless to say, that fell apart.
That however is not the story of this post. This post is about the song that ruined music recording for me. I haven’t recorded a song since this albatross of a song landed 9 months ago.
It started with Fart Bomb. Mike really like the idea of that song and wanted to do another song like it. This one would be called Harness the Wind. Now Harness the Wind is inspired by 2 things: 1) Dune and 2) farting. The line that really got Mike going was “the machine needs more beans.” Mike pictured a sequence with sweaty men in overalls being screamed at by some foreman. “THE MACHINE NEEDS MORE BEANS!!!” Workers furiously shoveling beans into some orifice. You get the idea.
Like I said, this is the song that killed me. We worked on it for awhile, recorded some guitar parts, a mechanistic drum loop, and a intro voice over. I honestly don’t remember if we got more of the song done. I do know that we didn’t finish it. We kind of came to an impasse after a couple of weeks as to what should be done with it. Around that time, my guitar amp shorted out. End of story.
I realize now that this song will never be finished (and probably shouldn’t be). So here it is in all it’s unfinished glory.
[Narrative] In the year 30 27, the House of bah toosh, launches an intergalactic mission to liberate the Quadeet, the sole inhabitants of the planet reekuss, an arid dezert world. The mission however is one of false pretenses, operating under the political guise of freedom for its own ends of greed. reekuss is the source of the galaxy's largest supply of natural methane, and the bah toosh desire control of the methane. What the bah toosh have not counted on however is that the quadeet will fight them to the death. A nomadic tribe, the Quadeet, or Wind Warriors, are already free, sailing the sandy dezerts in their leviathan Wind ships. Smelling the oder of the song of freedom, the Quadeet are privy to a secret and ancient knowledge. They know that one must poop soft, but fart loud. Nothing is a greater disgrace to them then the man who browns his shirt because he shits too fast causing his turds to explode in a shrapnel mist of feecees. However, the man who can fart loud, is the man who can "Harness his wind" and control the mighty wind ships. Harness the Wind fieres warrior and sail to freedom. [Verse] the hourglass may order time but there's a whisper in its falling grains that the kite hears behind gates enslaved electrifited out on sandy wastes where Krakenâ€™s crack blast the sails to crevasing calls liberty bells knocked clocks capsize tick tock their hands turn to an enemy's smell of fear disembolwen' [Chorus] Harness the wind now raise the mast on zepher's howl Sailing fast Harness the wind Oh heart's odyssey End oppression blow it free [Verse] On the hill there's man with a fez he's the prez fat cat he's claims he's centless He is not he's spews snake-oil coins (wooden nickels) coiling calculated and abbacussing Simply put, no amount of spice can perfume the reek greed's green rot aellous's bag may stink but it has more soul than a kings coffers of ghoul's gold [Chorus] harness the wind ride the waste take a ship set the pace Harness the wind Oh heart odyssey blowing Free [Bridge] Voices 1: "The machine needs more beans!" Voice 2: "Well then give it more beans."