Harness the Wind

When Mike and I first moved into the house we currently live, we were recording a lot of music. Most of the tracks we haven’t put up on the site yet. A lot of them were for an aborted project called “Night Caller.” It originally started out as one song, then it grew a sequel, and in true “Mike” fashion it spiraled out of control into a 12 song concept album. Needless to say, that fell apart.

That however is not the story of this post. This post is about the song that ruined music recording for me. I haven’t recorded a song since this albatross of a song landed 9 months ago.

It started with Fart Bomb. Mike really like the idea of that song and wanted to do another song like it. This one would be called Harness the Wind. Now Harness the Wind is inspired by 2 things: 1) Dune and 2) farting. The line that really got Mike going was “the machine needs more beans.” Mike pictured a sequence with sweaty men in overalls being screamed at by some foreman. “THE MACHINE NEEDS MORE BEANS!!!” Workers furiously shoveling beans into some orifice. You get the idea.

Like I said, this is the song that killed me. We worked on it for awhile, recorded some guitar parts, a mechanistic drum loop, and a intro voice over. I honestly don’t remember if we got more of the song done. I do know that we didn’t finish it. We kind of came to an impasse after a couple of weeks as to what should be done with it. Around that time, my guitar amp shorted out. End of story.

I realize now that this song will never be finished (and probably shouldn’t be). So here it is in all it’s unfinished glory.

Harness the Wind



In the year 30 27, the House of bah toosh, launches an
intergalactic mission to liberate the Quadeet, the sole
inhabitants of the planet reekuss, an arid dezert world.  The
mission however is one of false pretenses, operating under the
political guise of freedom for its own ends of greed.  reekuss is
the source of the galaxy's largest supply of natural methane, and
the bah toosh desire control of the methane.  What the bah toosh
have not counted on however is that the quadeet will fight them to
the death.  

A nomadic tribe, the Quadeet, or Wind Warriors, are already free,
sailing the sandy dezerts in their leviathan Wind ships. Smelling
the oder of the song of freedom, the Quadeet are privy to a secret
and ancient knowledge.  They know that one must poop soft, but
fart loud.  Nothing is a greater disgrace to them then the man who
browns his shirt because he shits too fast causing his turds to
explode in a shrapnel mist of feecees.  However, the man who can
fart loud, is the man who can "Harness his wind" and control the
mighty wind ships.  Harness the Wind fieres warrior and sail to


the hourglass
may order time
but there's a whisper
in its falling grains

that the kite hears
behind gates enslaved
out on sandy wastes

where Kraken’s crack
blast the sails
to crevasing calls
liberty bells

knocked clocks capsize
tick tock their hands turn
to an enemy's smell
of fear disembolwen'


Harness the wind
now raise the mast
on zepher's howl 
Sailing fast 

Harness the wind
Oh heart's odyssey
End oppression 
blow it free


On the hill 
there's man with a fez
he's the prez fat cat
he's claims he's centless

He is not
he's spews snake-oil coins (wooden nickels)
coiling calculated 
and abbacussing

Simply put,
no amount of spice
can perfume the reek
greed's green rot

aellous's bag may stink
but it has more soul
than a kings coffers 
of ghoul's gold


harness the wind
ride the waste
take a ship
set the pace

Harness the wind
Oh heart odyssey

blowing Free

Voices 1: "The machine needs more beans!"
Voice 2:  "Well then give it more beans."

3 thoughts on “Harness the Wind

  1. Oh, by the way, any misspellings or any other funny spacing in the intro voice over of the song was there so the computer could read it and pronounce things properly. Though I’m not sure if we had the computer do the voice for the voice over or if Mike did it.

  2. I’m glad you said something about it. I was about to offer my services as a High Officer of the Spelling SS/Grammar Gestapo. However, now that I know there was a logical reason behind it, it doesn’t bother me as much.

    As for the song itself, I can only say the one thing that escaped my lips upon first listening: “Wow.”

  3. Bands like the Eagles had *The Long Run* that stopped them from recording. Cocaine, paranoia and money tore them apart.

    For us, it was a quasi-political prog-epic about farts.

    I still want to finish the song and write a third/turd one.

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