All posts by Mike

Don’t You Mean Gasoline?

Uncategorized

Ouch

I went to 
the gas station
and found
gas prices were 
sky high.
So I went to the pet shop
to spend my gas money
on a hamster,
but hamsters cost more
than gas,
no lie!
But the pet lady 
told me that 
mamsters were free,
and I thought,
hey - lucky me - 
now I can spend my 
two "O" five
on ice cream.
I got the
mamster 
and the
little sucker
mangled my hand!
And I screamed
"This mamster
is as mean
as gasoline!"
With that
the mamster
chomped,
and I howled again,
"I'm gonna stick
this mamster in my 
gas tank!"
And the pet lady said,
"Sorry sir.  
You can't do that."
I asked why not,
and the pet lady said,
"Why sir,
don't you know?
Gas goes there."

Glamourarra Glitterarra

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Glamourarra Glitterarra

Glamourarra Glitterarra
came to disco go-go
down from NY 
all the way to San Diego.

She said she was on
vacation,
in flash of lash
and boot a' move,
which caught the glint
of golfin' CEO's
dribbling lobster
on their 
money fat suits.

Those CEOs purred
"Glamourarra Glitterarra
on TV 
would be some
rabbit hat trick..."
all the while
feeling their wallets
grow ghoul green thick. 

But what those CEOs
did not know,
was that 
Glamourarra Glitterarra
worked in TV also,
and was broadcasting
back feeds 
from Orion's Belt
to M83 -
with those
sloshing CEOs
as the fool-stars
of her very own
#1 pan-galactic show.

And the answer is Squirrels do have Nipples and Bellybuttons!

the mindlab

Mad Science Network has answered the recent question that arose here on Protozoic as to whether or not squirrels had nipples and belly buttons.

Hi Michael – Squirrels are eutherian mammals, meaning they bear live young which are nourished in utero through a placenta.

The umbilical cord transports the fetal blood to the placenta, where it is nourished with oxygen and nutrients from the mother’s circulation. After birth, the remnant of the umbilical cord connection is the belly button, or umbilicus. Squirrels thus have a belly button.

Mammals also nurse their young through mammary glands which produce the milk. The milk in eutherian mammals is exuded through the nipples. Squirrels, being eutherian mammals, thus have nipples.

  • Lynn Bry, MD/PhD, Dept. Pathology, Brigham & Women’s Hospital, Harvard Medical School

Alternatively click here to read their answer to the question here.

Interestingly it would seem that Gerry had a similar question about dogs and cats having belly buttons.

Thanks Mad Science Network!

Additionally, The Worldwide Wildlife Fund has written me indicating that they have printed out Squorty Tails, the Delmarva Fox Squirrel, and hung him on their bulletin board. And if you ask me, that is almost as good as getting published!

Internet Archive

the mindlab

While researching ways to counteract propaganda, I came across the Internet Archive, a fantastic resource that culls audio, video, text and computer programs that for whatever reason have fallen into public domain. In other words – PURE INFORMATION out the wazoo.

In the moving images section for example, you can download the complete versions of Killers from Space (1954), directed by W. Lee Wilder, a movie about atomic bombs and aliens, and the minor classic Big Trees (1952), directed by Felix E. Feist, starring Kirk Douglas as a timber baron planning to chop down old wood sequoias in a Quaker colony. Can it get any better than this? Yes, there are a slew of Max Fleischer-produced Superman cartoons, math lectures, newsreels, propaganda films and stuff that I haven’t even looked at in the text, audio and computer program sections.

Additionally, I strongly urge everyone to take a gander at the reason why I happened onto this site in the first place – the Fairbanks (Jerry) Productions, Brink of Disaster Part I and Part II (1972), directed by John Florea. No joke, Brink of Disaster, is about a revolutionary war hero who travels back in time to quell campus rebellion in the 1970s. From its whacked-out premise to its re-christening of “freedom of speech” to “freedom of filth”, Brink of Disaster is a must.

In conclusion, sites like the Internet Archive are all about what the Internet can be and should be.