Don’t You Mean Gasoline?


I went to 
the gas station
and found
gas prices were 
sky high.
So I went to the pet shop
to spend my gas money
on a hamster,
but hamsters cost more
than gas,
no lie!
But the pet lady 
told me that 
mamsters were free,
and I thought,
hey - lucky me - 
now I can spend my 
two "O" five
on ice cream.
I got the
and the
little sucker
mangled my hand!
And I screamed
"This mamster
is as mean
as gasoline!"
With that
the mamster
and I howled again,
"I'm gonna stick
this mamster in my 
gas tank!"
And the pet lady said,
"Sorry sir.  
You can't do that."
I asked why not,
and the pet lady said,
"Why sir,
don't you know?
Gas goes there."

10 thoughts on “Don’t You Mean Gasoline?

  1. oh dear…that surely is depressing. the price of hamsters must be exponentially equivalent to the price of gasoline. such a shame, since they’re such cute little critters.

    so, explain this “mamster” to me. is it a rodent, related in any way to the hamster itself, or is it just a guy in a hamster suit, ready to fight Arnold in the night/day in Central Park? perhaps Arnold wouldn’t have been as quick to attack if a mamster was threatening his girlfriend, rather than a bear suit.

  2. My God did the Diff’rent Strokes DVD ever suck. Arnold deserved to have his ass kicked by the Gooch…

  3. Well… the truth is that the picture may have actually originated from a small sketch I did in my notepad with the title “Man Bear” written above it… so, yes Tim. But I figured I could change it up and make it a hamster – or man-hamster, or mamster. It could have been a manster, but I liked mamster better.

    An early version of the poem went:

    Mamster He’s not a hamster. Just give him some ham and he’ll bite your hand, cause he ain’t too friendly and not likely to be tamed.

    Another version of the poem goes:

    But I’m Mamster. I just want to prance around.

  4. And here I was wondering why female (ma’am) hamsters would be so vicious. And what the guy in the hamster suit had to do with it.

    The less credible speculation was that Mamster was some kind of file-sharing program for either exclusively for women, or just mammals in general.

  5. Mammary glands and sex distinction did cross my mind in making it a “mamster”. But it doesn’t really have anything to do with that. I just liked the sound of it.

  6. No, no I don’t… I mean… bucks? Doe? What is all this zoological talk about male and female animals?

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