Sting and the Kensucky Derby

Fuck you Sting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on – literally.

As you may have heard, a long shot named Giacomo won this year’s Kentucky Derby at unheard of 50-1 odds. This was the second largest pay-out ever in Kentucky Derby history.

Normally, I am a big champion of the underdog. No one likes an upset more than me. But Giacomo’s win sucked for a number of reasons, and I blame Sting.

FYI: Giacomo is the name of Sting’s 9yr old son. The owner of the horse was a cofounder of A&M records and gave his thoroughbred the same stupid name Sting gave his stupid kid. Long story short, this horse should not even have been a contender in this race – let alone win the thing….

Now the field on the Derby-Trail wasn’t especially strong this year, that’s a given, but a major-long shot winning the biggest money (and highest profile) race in the U.S. is really bad for the industry.

In case you didn’t already know, I like horse racing – a lot. I play the races when I can, but it’s not a money thing, I just love the entire sport. But the whole horse racing industry is in serious decline. Purses have fallen and are usually supplemented heavily by casinos and slot machines. Smarty Jones did a world of good in breathing some new life into the racing world last year, and I was really hoping that this trend would continue with a new ‘people’s champ’ in 2005. No such luck. Giacomo is an average horse at best, and his record and background really won’t excite anyone.

In layman’s terms, Giacomo sucks, his win was a fluke (3 seconds off the K.D. record pace,) and this win will hurt the sport – and I blame Sting.

If by some miracle, Giacomo manages a win in the Preakness then I will retract all of my words and send Sting a formal letter of apology – at that point this would become without a doubt one of the best Triple Crown stories of all time – but that’s not going to happen. Giacomo blows.

To sum it all up:

Giacomo was a major long shot that shouldn’t have won. His pace was slow, and he benefited from a heavy pack, a mean-spirited entry strategy that backfired (i.e Spanish Chestnut), and dumb luck. He won’t be a Triple Crown contender. His story sucks, and he’s a he’s two degrees separated from Sting.

On an unrelated note, there was a pretty girl at Delaware Park that hit the 10-18 exacta. The 18 horse that came in was another long shot at 70-1. No one in their right mind (or anyone with any horse racing experience at all) would have picked that. She won over $9,800 on a $2 bet. Whore.

See you at the Preakness!

5 thoughts on “Sting and the Kensucky Derby

  1. So, your saying that because a long-shot won the race, the sport is ruined? It seems to me that this would only make betting on the race that much more exciting and unpredictable. Otherwise, it wouldn’t really be “gambling.”

  2. Nah, I’m with grue. Ever since Sting appeared onstage with Puff Daddy, I’ve been giving him the finger from across the Atlantic on pretty much a daily basis. Oh, and Fiction Plane sucks my balls. (Just wanted to add that.)

  3. ah, yes sting and trudy styler the ever so pious yoga practitioncers!!! They are not supposed to be gambling even. Ha! But when you own the yoga studio you can do whatever want. They might need the money. Sting hasn’t written a good song in a really long time.

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