When the mouse costume arrived today, the thrill of exhilaration that surged through me must have surely been equal to that of Ben Franklin’s when he discovered electricity after being zapped by a lightning bolt. At some point however, during my frenzied celebration of running, foaming, leaping and shouting, it dawned on me that the things which were giving me ecstatic glee were perhaps only doing so because I was, rather sadly, unemployed. It had only been five minutes earlier that I’d been amusing myself by belching into an empty milk glass and trying to waft the fumes into my face. Silently cursing the particularly pesky milk fumes that refused to come out from the bottom of the milk glass, I was certain that the belching-wafting entertainment was a symptom of my unemployedness. The question was though, was my jubilance over the mouse costume? When Tim got home, I got my answer. I hadn’t even gotten one word out of mouth before Tim was fully garbed in downy mousey attire and making series of arcane mouse-ing motions with his arms. It was then that I, like Franklin perhaps, was privy to my own little piece of the light, and knew unemployed, or employed, that the mouse costume was timeless.

I like posting on this site late at night. Night time is when I can actually unwind and think and reflect on things…

I was looking over the posts, and I kind of came to a realization. I can’t write anything without using the words ‘cunt’ or ‘fuck.’ No one else seems to have this problem. This really bothers me. I shouldn’t feel the need to swear in order to get my point across.

I am certainly too vulgar. I mean potty humor used to be fun, but now that we are all a bit older and settling into life, it all just seems kind of crude and senseless and uncalled for. I kind of see now why our nation has democratically re-elected George W. Bush and his administration for a second term. We as a people are way too out of control. We’ve corrupted ourselves. We are a morally bankrupt generation.

Maybe I am out of line. Maybe this is the wrong place or the wrong time to tell everyone how I’ve been feeling lately. But something significant has changed. I used to think the darker, dirtier, seedier side of life was something we could sort of poke fun at. But now I realize that it is the undoing of society. I masked my pain towards a societal-down spiral by making stupid jokes about Pop-culture and buying into the rhetoric of Gen X’ers and Gen Why’ers in criticizing the “right-wing moral majority.”

Everything I so adamantly rallied against in the past… I can only say I’m sorry, and try to correct things from here on out…

Just kidding. Fuck fuck titty titty cunt fuck!!!!

Peace.

Morty
the
Mortician
was a kind
of a beautician
who
slurred
his words
cause he needed of
a SpamSieve,
not a liver,
to filter the
whiskey rye,
and when grandfather
died,
my mother
was
absolutely
mortified
when old Morty said,
“No one gives
two hoots
about stuff like nutrition
when you go to the
palace in the sky”.

C roatia is smelly

U nless you like flowers

N ot that I’m prejudiced

T hat would be presumptuous

F uck Croatia anyways

A nd all their Croatian ways

R ed Bull and Red Politics

T hat’s all those fuckers got

My
pants
don’t
fit,
but
I
don’t
give
a
shit,
cause
I’m
unemployed.

Human
head
for
my
hunan
hand,
oh
my
god,
I
just
thought
of
a
name
for
my
bran
new
band.

There’s this thing called Hunan Hand. It happens to you when you work with hot peppers. The hotness in peppers is due to a chemical called capsaicin. This chemical can get on your hands (or elsewhere), and let me tell you, it is damn hard to get off. I cut up various kinds of hot peppers for some chili the other week, and my left thumb burned for days. I could taste spicy on it for about 6 days. I tried several things to get the shit off, including Goo Gone, ethanol, and acetone, which I’m sure can’t be good for your skin. The one recommended method for cooling things off involves rinsing your hands in bleach, and I’m not sure if that’s worth it.

It finally wore off after on its own after about a week. And to think that I didn’t even get it that bad.

Mark Mayo of VMUNIX discusses his move to SpamSieve. I think he will be pleasantly surprised at how well it handle a butt-load of junk mail. Sure, sometimes with large loads of mail, it takes a minute to get processed through SpamSieve, but it does a great job at learning what is junk and what isn’t. I get on average 100–300 spam emails a day, and SpamSieve keeps on chugging. It works great in combination with SpamAssassin and other spam filtering utilities that tag spam in the headers since SpamSieve can learn about the spaminess of any portion of an email, including all headers. A++.

No, this isn’t the fraud-Jones behind Being John Malcobitch, but the other Spike Jones. Spike Jonze, the 4th Beastie Boob, is and forever will be moronic just like the Cajun inspired spelling of his last name. Why people are always talking about Spike Jonze, the jambalayian-retard, and not the real Spike Jones is beyond me. Perhaps these people just don’t want to feel like they live in tiki-bungalow with Yosemite Sam. Well change is on the wind, and heralding that change is the Spike Jones Box Set, “Strictly for Music Lovers”. With the ludicrously cheap price tag of under 25 dollars, this excellent four CD set provides hours upon hours of musical hoots, whoops, shoots and WWII humor to boot. It is a matter of time before Jonze and all of New Orleans’s crawfish are sacrificed in the Wicker Man.

Well, the site has been upgraded to the new version of WordPress. During the upgrade process, we decided to do a little site redesign to make it a bit easier on the eyes. We will continue working with the visuals, but the site is at least in a state now where it could come back on line. It’s not like the readership is that large anyway…