Yearly Archives: 2006

d20 Alternate Mechanics – Injury & Consequences (Redux)

A bit over a year ago I posted an idea for some alternate mechanics as a substitution for hit points for games using the d20 system. Rarely do I ever DM though, so the odds of getting these mechanics actually play-tested seemed slim. However on Thursday, this past, I actually ran an adventure in which they were tried out.

The results didn’t seem too bad and, as expected, combat was short and deadly. Overall reaction afterward seemed to border on actual enthusiasm though a number of concerns were voiced and a fair bit of discussion and suggestion quickly followed.

Continue reading d20 Alternate Mechanics – Injury & Consequences (Redux)

The Black Hole

Bernheim, one of Governor Hentoff’s lackeys, was vomiting off behind a trash receptacle. I wasn’t big on politics, but for what it is worth, Bernheim would have been an idiot regardless of his profession. That morning and before the black hole had opened up in the middle of Chicago, he’d eaten three cheese steaks.

“Try not to get any of that on the floor, Berny – they just waxed in here!” I called out as I clacked away on the keyboard.

“Fu— blauguguguguguguugugug!” replied Bernheim.

I laughed. My laughter was quickly quelled though. We were in big trouble and by my calculations had 1 hour and 17 minutes to stop a black hole from consuming all of Chicago. In another twenty-four hours, it would be the world.

Continue reading The Black Hole

Round Table Topic – Toffee & Cea

One of my favorite drinks is coffee. I like my coffee black. No sugar. No cream. I also like hot tea, especially Earl Grey. When I lived with Tim, I’d also drink green tea (generally because he had a lot of it). While I don’t drink tea nearly as much as coffee, I do thoroughly enjoy a cup now and again – especially when I don’t want all that caffeine and I just want a hot beverage. And much like my coffee, I also don’t want anything else in my tea except “tea”.

Yet, I have always been vexed by the question that why when you mix the two together do they taste so nasty? It would seem logical that a mixture of tea and coffee would be quite nice. Even refreshing. Both hot drinks are bitter. I even drink both hot beverages the same, unadorned with frills. Still, the very thought of snarfing down a piping hot mug of toffee or cea is repulsive.

Why? The table is open.

d20 – Weave a Little Spell (Part I – The Basics)

One thing that always bugged me about the magic system in D&D and it’s d20 offspring is the reliance on the same old “spell slots” magic system. Via this system magicians get a certain number of spells per day. The magician fills up the memory slots in his head with spells at the beginning of the day and then casts the spells throughout the day, thus emptying slots which may be filled again after 8 hours of sleep. †

This was a magic system unlike any I had ever read in story or myth at the time†† and the fact that it neither inspired me nor modeled any aspect of the worlds I’d imagined or read about annoyed me to no end.

“Well, why not throw the whole game out the window?” you ask, “There are other RPGs out there with more cohesive magic systems… take Mutants and Masterminds for example, you could use that system to model any sort of power you’d ever want and it’s powers seem intuitively balanced and consistent.”

To this I can only say:

True.

But the nostalgia man. The nostalgia!

Continue reading d20 – Weave a Little Spell (Part I – The Basics)

Search Terms Update

Just thought I’d give you guys an update on our most popular searches. I always get a kick out of these. For the month of August, the most popular search term was “monkey bread” with 88 hits. The second most popular was “bot fly” with 9 hits. There must be some kind of internet fad going on with monkey bread right now; why else would it be generating 10 times the hits of other search terms.

Regardless, the full top 10 in order are:

  • monkey bread
  • bot fly
  • heathcliff
  • mandingo
  • zucchini bread
  • rice bugs
  • big bag big bag lyrics
  • homemade ant farm
  • really free mp3s
  • presto pizzazz

Two quick comments on this. First, of the top 10 search terms, 4 concern food (“monkey bread”, “zucchini bread”, “rice bugs”, and “presto pizzazz”1).

Second, only 2 of the top 10 represent “projects” of ours: “homemade ant farm” and “big bag big bag lyrics.” This of course assumes that the big bag search is referring to our song.

The combination of these two facts leads me to believe that we should retire from our creative efforts and make protozoic.com an online food magazine.


1 The Presto Pizzazz pizza oven is actually a popular search term and it shows up in various forms. It’s ranking would probably be higher if one counted all the variations.

Round Table Topic – Beholders vs Mindflayers

For many years I have been haunted by a reoccurring dream… beholders doing savage battle with mindflayers. Now, in a unprecedented event, I turn this topic over to the Protozoic forum. I ask you, our faithful readership, who would win? The beholders or the mindflayers? Why would they win? Which faction would win the respect of the umberhulks? Additionally, if a script version of beholders vs mindflayers was proposed to a major motion picture studio, what could be done to ensure that the screenplay was as exciting, if not “more” exciting than Alien vs Predator? Would the beholders fight the mindflayers in a large underground Mayan temple located in Antartica (sort of like Alien vs Predator)? Or would they wage war in downtown D.C.?

The table is now open.

An Outlandish Petitioner

As the revels continue the Freehold gates, their chimeral aspect massive and dwarfing the hall’s celebrants, swing ajar. Their movement though is hesitant, cautious. Not the dramatic slam of pomp and grand entrance, nor the gentle swing they’d grant a welcome but timid visitor. The portal’s timbers seem to question one to the other in silent, wooden speech, “Is this a one to be allowed entry? Truly enough it braves the Silver Ban, but the fall of it’s tread echoes more distantly than that of folk who dwell within, and the rap of it’s knuckles resounds alien upon our planks. Yet it’s intent seems clear…”

Continue reading An Outlandish Petitioner

Mr. Pony

Mr. Pony 
fancy-pants
doin' the Mr. Pony 
sparkle dance
Twirls 
   and 
      Spir-els
for the squealing 
                    girls
Who love 
that stupid pony

Shoney 
Money
Noney

with 
    regal hat 
    Pony-Prance
outta sight 
fat wildcat(s) trance
and ending(s) 
stop beginning(s)
on the giraffe neck(s).

Ending(s)

In the crowd
I heard someone say
to a lover of mine
never end
with a clincher.
She died.
I didn't attend her funeral.
I didn't wear black.
I was a cold drift.
I counted waves.
I said alone,
when things end, no one gives applause.

It Doesn’t Matter Which Camera You Buy

Intro

Mike and I were discussing tonight that we need more content up on the site about our experiences in film/video making. So, here is my first installment. I’ll use this as a chance to talk about something we all know but sometimes lose sight of as well as introducing myself. There will be some foul language in the course of these discussions; blame my father.

One more note: All of this assumes that you, the reader, are much like us. We are not professionals, we are making independent film in any manner that we can because it is a passion for us. If you have a seriously professional schedule, often times choice of equipment and workflow is dictated by someone other than yourself and you clearly don’t need this kind of advice.

Continue reading It Doesn’t Matter Which Camera You Buy