Risk 2210


Brian: “I’m quitting. I’ve lost anyway.”

Mike: “Dude, don’t quit. Quitting is for girls.”

Brian: “Exactly. I’m going to go talk to some.”

Brian vacates the room, leaving only Thom and Mike continue to play.

Thom: “Brian went to look for girls.”

Mike: “Yeah. I know.”

Thom: “Any woman news with you?”

Mike: “Play the game.”

Thom: “Don’t be so touchy.”

Mike: “How about you then? Any women news with you?”

Thom: “Shut the fuck up.”

Note: Contrary to the fact that Brian generally meets women at the bar, Risk is about the control of all the world’s women.


Later Brian returns home with an attractive stylish woman. She appears to be in her mid to late 20s, and wears a pair of black rim glasses.

Brian: “What’s up fellas. This is Shelly.”

Thom: “Hey.”

Mike doesn’t say anything.

Brian: “Shelly is a teacher. Isn’t that right?”

Shelly: “Yes.”

With that Brian slaps Shelly’s ass. Shelly snorts.

Brian: “Damn girl. Don’t be snorting in front of my clan. That is rude.”

Shelly laughs and snorts again.

Brian: “All right you haters, I’m off.”

Shelly turns to leave and Brian follows. Right before Brian leaves the room he turns back to Thom and Mike.

Brian: “I think I saw me some tounge.”

Brian leaves the room.

Thom: “What the fuck man.”

Mike: “Shut up and play.”



Thom: “Hey guess what I bought.”

Thom shuffles some pieces about the board.

Mike: “What did you buy?”

Thom: “Night vision goggles.”

Mike: “Awesome man. Now we can see dogs at night.”

Thom: “And cats.”

Mike: “And the people at Dunkin Donuts when they throw away slightly stale donuts in the dumpster.”

Thom: “Totally, the cops might even catch us.”

Mike: “Probably not. We’ll have night vision goggles.”

Thom: “You’re right.”

Mike: “And we can read Beatle Bailey in the dark.”

Thom: “I love Beatle Bailey. He’s so funny.”

Mike: “But not as funny as Blondie.”


Thom: “Or Family Circus.”

Mike: “Oh yeah – I totally forgot! Family Circus is so good!”

Thom: “Yeah I know. I love that one were the kids run around the house and the -“

Mike and Thom at same time: “- dotted line follows them!”

Mike and Thom both laugh.

Mike: “Man. That is too good. How about Dilbert.”

Thom: “Fuck you.”

Mike: “What?”

Thom: “I work in an office. That’s not funny.”

Mike: “I wasn’t insinuating anything.”


Thom: “Play the game and don’t fucking cheat you stupid mother fucker or I’ll fucking punch you.”

Mike: “Whatever.”

Sometime in Turn 5 it is clear that Mike has won.

Thom: “Well Mike… congratulations. It looks like you finally won.”

Mike: “Don’t patronize me you cunt.”

Thom: “I wasn’t patronizing you.”

Mike: “You were to patronizing me. And you were praying that even though it was inevitable you’d lose, you could at least do something lame like take Eastern Europe from me.”

Thom: “I did take it from you. I NUKED you.”

The End