All posts by dick

It came from Chook – Africa Edition

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The boys sent me a tape of some prime Chook-era material while I was in Africa. I want to thank them, because it really helped me get through my time there. From my mosquito-infested bed, I listened to the tapes on a cheap walkman with cheap African batteries and imagined myself being back home with the crew, staying up until 5am to make these “creations.” As my 10-year anniversary of shipping off to Africa is coming up soon, I recently digitized, edited and segmented the whole first tape.

There are 3 basic sections: Chook Radio Drama, Larry Sings the Hits, and Mike’s Improv. I’ll post lengths and some comments for the good ones, so you know what you’re getting into.

Chook Radio Drama

Larry and Jim at Home, 11:45
Larry and Lester Break into Orange Julius, 2:37
Larry and Jim visit DC, 11:18
History Lesson from Larry Snow, 2:21 Has some Clinton-era commentary. Trippy to think of how long ago that was.
The Story of Curtis Rufus as read by Mr. Snow, 1:41
At the Office, 0:48
Chook Origins: Larry Snow, 0:42
Please Hold, 2:34 This one is a must-listen.
Making Calls, 3:08 And, you probably want to avoid this one.
Chook News Reel, 5:39 A bunch of Chook radio news broadcasts, chronicling events of the company and of Larry Snow’s misadventures.

There’s also a track of Joe and Mike cold-calling certain media and entertainment organizations as Chook employees to try to make business deals with them. I left that off the site because of possible legality issues, but anyone who wants that can get it from me directly.

Larry Sings the Hits

I’m a Lonely Man, 1:41
Shake Yer Rump, 0:39
Pennywhistle of Doom, 0:26
Beem Doodah Beem Doodah Hoombah Heem, 1:29
Steady Truckin’, 0:39
Mr. Nutcracker, 0:22 This is one of my faves.

Mike’s Improv

No Fudgies, 0:45
It’s a Party, 1:58
Canada, 2:28
Pennywhistle Rap, 0:54
Goblins Eating Noblins, 0:29
Mike Deedlee, 4:11 Random noises from Mike. Tim has a cameo at 3:00.

Dragonball: Evolution, I’m siding with creationists on this one…

writings

Like many other adults by chronological age only, I would really like to see a live action version of this:

But, when I heard that 20th Century Fox Studios was going to try, I didn’t have high expectations. I thought maybe it would suck and yet would still be kind of entertaining.

I was wrong. It sucked and it wasn’t even entertaining.

Continue reading Dragonball: Evolution, I’m siding with creationists on this one… →

Haystack Rock

the mindlab

Buff’s brother and his family are moving to Maryland from Astoria, Oregon. Buff and I agreed to help out by flying there and then driving one of their cars the 3000 miles back, which we did last week. One of the perks of the trip was to get to see the Astoria area for the first time.

Sloth Love Chunk

As someone who grew up fantasizing of having a grand adventure like The Goonies had, visiting Haystack Rock was probably the closest thing I’ve had to having a religious experience.

EDIT: Oh, and here is the photo gallery of our road trip.

Dragonball Z: Burst Limit, Review and Comparison to Dick’s Cinematic Combat System

Dragon's Den, the mindlab

sup

Early fighting games had one status, a life gauge, and it only went one way: down. Some other fighters added another layer in the form of an energy/rage gauge. That too usually only went up until filled to max, then you can use some devastating ability. Dragonball Z: Burst Limit not only employs a third gauge, but the ones apart from the health gauge are freely dynamic, filling and depleting depending on action. This is a lot like my earlier-drafted cinematic combat system.

Continue reading Dragonball Z: Burst Limit, Review and Comparison to Dick’s Cinematic Combat System →

The Dragon Flag Board

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I’m into bodyweight strength exercises.

While this probably stems from my martial arts background, it isn’t because I believe there is some magical difference between using free or machine weights versus bodyweight. In fact, I’m going to guess that using a complete set of free weights is “better” than using bodyweight, in terms of workout input and gain output. The problem is, those aren’t the only factors.

My interest in bodyweight strength exercises solidified when I read The Naked Warrior, by Pavel Tsatsouline, a former Soviet Special Forces instructor. While the guy is may be a little nuts, he brings up some good points; gym weights, are great but, as he notes, unless you live a life with the predictability of a house plant, they won’t always be available.

What it all boils down to is a regimen of doing 2 exercises: the pistol squat and the one-armed push-up.

The results have been good, and, while one-armed push-ups can work out your abs quite a lot, I’m ready for the next level: the dragon flag

Click here for a youtube video demonstrating the dragon flag

So, here is what I’ve constructed for myself, a dragon flag board.

Dragon Flag Board

I’ve been meaning to make it for a while, but I just got a little store credit for returning a lid-less trash can to Home Depot, after using the lid to make a shield, completing a costume of King Leonidas from 300.

SPARTAAAAAA!!!!

Return policy abuse, you might suggest, but maybe someone at Home Depot should have thought of this before refusing to sell me just the lid.

Anyway, the board works by laying yourself on your back, with the bulk of the board under your torso and your head between the handles. You can then grasp the handles and it will support leg lifts and dips. And, it slides nicely under Gus Gus and Buster‘s table when I’m not using it.

I figured, with plenty of athletic experience between us, some sort of weight training post was going to come up. I’d like to hear sometime what anyone else does. Maybe Tim could give us a rundown on his hulkening sessions.

Dick’s Cinematic Tabletop RPG Combat System, 3 of 3

Dragon's Den

Reminiscent of Infantry fight system, and to show dramatic combat with guns, is the final fight scene to the movie Equilirium (2002) by Kurt Wimmer (major spoilers for those who haven’t seen it yet).

At least 20 shots fired and not a scratch on either guy. Notice how it was harder for John Preston to point and pull a trigger than it was for him to wrist-lock the gun from his opponent? That’s because it’s more dramatic that way. Guns are more tricky to pull this off without the dissolution of viewer disbelief (like Mike’s Commando note in the last comments). Wimmer, or whoever choreographed the fights, did a good job throughout the movie.

The two weren’t exchanging blows and deducting hit points. Instead, they were deducting each others’, as I put it in the last post, easily-replenish-able statuses.

Continue reading Dick’s Cinematic Tabletop RPG Combat System, 3 of 3 →

Dick’s Cinematic Tabletop RPG Combat System, 2 of 3

Dragon's Den

So, I have been drumming up ideas for a tabletop RPG combat system, mainly as mental-masturbation, but I think I might have found something I can use for Emporium (the combat system is the largest design hole that I currently have for Emporium). The real goal is for a combat system that is intuitive, not too complicated, yet still interesting and dynamic from round to combat round.

One way to do this is to account for proximity (think Warhammer 40k or Battletech). While that can make combat interesting, it also can turn your RPG into more of a strategic simulation.

Then, two combat systems converged in my mind as the two most interesting combat systems I have witnessed. Unfortunately, both of them are action systems, not turn-based.

Continue reading Dick’s Cinematic Tabletop RPG Combat System, 2 of 3 →

Dick’s Cinematic Tabletop RPG Combat System, 1 of 3

Dragon's Den

I have always disliked how AD&D handles combat, especially the damage system.

Compare a level 4 fighter, who has 40 hit points, and a level 1 mage, who has a whopping 4 hit points. The two are fighting side by side versus some castle guards. During the skirmish, the fighter gets hit with long sword which, for this example, does its maximum damage of 10 hit points and then gets nicked a few times at values of 3, 4 and 5; the mage gets stabbed with a dagger and gets completely knocked out with the max damage of 4 (some systems would have just killed him, but we always played that you get knocked out at 0 hit points and start to bleed to death until stabilized at -1 hit points).

The obvious problem with this is the disparity of damage between both characters, who are, after all, 2 humans. How can a small stab mean death to one character but hardly anything to another?

Continue reading Dick’s Cinematic Tabletop RPG Combat System, 1 of 3 →

Phallus Phish

the mindlab

There’s a little fishing store you can see from Route 50 on your way west, right before Kent Island. I’ve been meaning to take a picture of it for years now, but Buff got it while on her way back from a job interview. What were the designers thinking?

phallus phish

On Teaching

the mindlab

This will be my rant on my particular experience with teaching in China. It had to happen eventually and I guess that I should be glad that there’s no chance my employer will read this blog, as some employees have faced problems for saying less than I’m about to say.

There’s a problem with the way English is usually taught in China. It is taught via book learning. This fundamentally wrong because a language, by definition, is spoken. The effect is a couple generations of Chinese who can read pretty well and who often have a surprisingly broad vocabulary, but who simply cannot speak English. If you can’t speak a language (hint: “lang” latin derived for “tongue”), then you really can’t do much with it, can you?

My company’s mission is to teach oral English to young Chinese students, to get them actually speaking the language, not just learn about the language as if it was a dead one. Seeing as I’ve learned Chinese the Chinese way (mostly reading and writing, very little speaking) and didn’t appreciate it much, and based on the linguistic theory that I’ve studied concerning language acquisition, I fully believe in my company’s mission. Unfortunately, the company itself doesn’t.

Continue reading On Teaching →