I know everybody has been waiting for the big reveal, well here it is, straight from the horse’s mouth.
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pre> From: Thom Subject: picture Date: February 16, 2009 3:51:13 PM EST To: Mike
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pre> OK – wait, …before you read this go get something to eat. Go! Now… take a break and grab something. The story has a much better affect if you are in the middle of eating your favorite food!
About 10 years ago I was working at a agency serving adults with developmental disabilities and I was dating a nurse. I had brought this picture into work and after showing it to my nurse girlfriend I placed it up on my cork board where the picture hung for over a year. My office was well traveled and received a lot of traffic from other employees passing by to ask for my guidance. Many of them would comment on the photo and say "what is that a picture of?" Some would even guess --- "it's a star or plant". So I would just smile and say "close guess... but I can't say". No one ever guessed correctly, mind you it did present itself a little differently when you print it out on a sheet of paper and originally it was only the bottom photo that was posted for everyone to see. So you ask, what is this wonderful photo? Well, this is the infamous "Jeep Butt" (Pilonidal Cyct) that I was diagnosed with in 1998. I was having problems and when it first started I didn't want to go see the doctor as I was embarrassed and hopeful it would heal. My newly acquired nurse girlfriend wanted me to drop trou so she could see and tell me the outlook on my bum. I refused but told her I'd take a picture of my ass and bring it to work. These two pictures are the result - furthermore she made an accurate diagnosis on the spot by just looking at the pictures. I have no idea how she guessed correctly because the picture is so out of focus and the bump looks like a pimple to me. Anyhow, only her and I knew the true identity of the printed picture.
Yum. Hope you were eating steak tartar like me. Read more about the pilonidal cyst here.
- Editors Note: Thom and I were slightly confused as to whether or not the phrase for yanking one’s pants down was “drop trou” or “drop trout.” I think it’s fish.
I believe this falls into the category of “urban legend.” It is common knowledge that Comrade Thom is “happy” and has no interest in girls. Comrade Thom is ordered to report to Ministry of Truth, Room 101, ASAP.