A lot of people (who shall remain nameless) think God is a stick in the
mud for creating the universe and not taking responsibility for it.  They
say trite stupid shit like, “I can’t believe in God, because how can I
believe in an all-powerful being that could make such a messed up world.”

101 philosophy may wow her over wine, but I’m not her, nor would I employ
that method of attack to get in her pants.  Instead I’d tell her, “God is
a stoned teenager, who steals his parent’s car so he can hotrod around
town all the while never knowing the true root of his delinquency.  He’s
the greatest artist of all time, full of self loathing and directionless
angst.  I heard he was the 4th member of Nirvana.  Now show me your
breasts – I love you.”

Continue reading Report from the Mall: Christmas 2004 →

I really don’t look forward to cleaning the original Chia. I must not let Garfield get to this state.

Something has gone horribly wrong. Garfield is ok, but original Chia is hurting.

We rotated the Chia. Now his growth is going the other way.

We forgot to rotate the Chia pet. His growth is leaning towards the window.

It seems that the Chia pet has a bald spot. I have little faith in this spot growing. Why did this happen? For no fucking reason, just like the huge piles of leaves in the street.

Welcome to my world.

The Chia sprouts are growing… just like the enormous piles of leaves in front of our house.

Our landlord came by the house this week. She laughed when she saw the Chia Garlfield box. I bet she wouldn’t be laughing now if she saw the first Chia growth.