Listening to this album is like trying to insulate an igloo with wet leaves, a waste of time, energy and effort. Blueberry Bloated blows like a cold case of the blueberry balls, not because it would be more cost effective to heat the igloo with the ignited happening hipster wind and excessive experimental gas released from the album’s punctured guts; but simply because I can’t fathom what would ever possess someone to write the line, “Later at lunch with the taco lettuce crunch crunch” and then sing it in what is possibly the most annoying vocal delivery “EVER”. Listening to the line makes Urkle’s voice sound like listening Courtney Cox climax with a double pronged dildo. If anyone wants me to spend more time with this piece of garbage, then all I’m saying is I’d better get my
Taco-cocko-sucko-ed.

I just got off the line with Verizon. I called the customer service number 1-800-427-9977. I started following the commands, got fed up, and just asked for an associate. Mr. Jones comes on the line and asks me what the problem is in his overly helpful manner. He then kindly informs me that I have the wrong department and he’s going to transfer me to the right one. For future reference, he gave me the phone number to the “right” department, which is 1-800-427-9977.

I go on hold for a minute, then Mr. Davis comes on. Mr. Jones hands me off to Mr. Davis:

“Good morning Mr. Davis, this is Mr. Jones from the Long Distance Billing Dept. I am on the line with Mr. Gray and he has some questions about his Verizon Freedom plan.”

Funny stuff. Now, the reason I am calling Verizon is because we are have the Verizon Freedom Extra pack, which is a good deal for $59.95, since it gives you unlimited local and long distance, and a ton of features including voice mail. However, I was perusing the Verizon site the other day, and noticed the [Verizon] Freedom Unlimited plan was only $49.95. “Unlimited” sounds better than “Extra” in my book, and $10 cheaper is pretty good too.

So I called Verizon to see what was up and to change my plan. As is evident by Mr. Jones, Mr. Davis, and their handling of me, they must be trying hard to have “good customer service.” To me good customer service involves calling the customer service number and getting who I want, not being transferred to the same number I called. Oh well.

For those who care, the Unlimited package doesn’t have voice mail or unlimited 411. The other funny thing was when Mr. Davis tried to sell me Verizon DSL. He went on for about 5 minutes telling me how much better it was than my current Comcast cable internet, all for only $29.95. Finally he asked how much I was paying for Comcast, to which I replied, “$23.” That’s $23 with 3 computers on the network and including the cable modem, which Mr. Davis made me point out to him. He then quickly said, “Well, DSL still has advantages over cable modem, and at only $24.95/month, its only $2 more.”