Monthly Archives: May 2005

Grue’s Essentials

I know this isn’t supposed to be a blog, but I can’t help but list my favorite classic hits…

1 – Screaming Jay Hawkins – I put a spell on you

2 – ? and the Mysterions – 96 Tears

3 – Del Shannon -Runaway

4 – Donovan – Wear your love like Heaven

5 – Supremes (really Freda Paine)- Band of Gold

6 – The Animals – House of the Rising Sun

7 – The Four Tops- Reach Out I’ll be there

Sting and the Kensucky Derby

Fuck you Sting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on – literally.

As you may have heard, a long shot named Giacomo won this year’s Kentucky Derby at unheard of 50-1 odds. This was the second largest pay-out ever in Kentucky Derby history.

Normally, I am a big champion of the underdog. No one likes an upset more than me. But Giacomo’s win sucked for a number of reasons, and I blame Sting.

FYI: Giacomo is the name of Sting’s 9yr old son. The owner of the horse was a cofounder of A&M records and gave his thoroughbred the same stupid name Sting gave his stupid kid. Long story short, this horse should not even have been a contender in this race – let alone win the thing….

Continue reading Sting and the Kensucky Derby

Grumblings

Grumble, Grumlbe, Grumble...

Grumblings are always grumbling,
about this and that.
Go ask a Grumbling to take out the garbage,
he'll retort, 
"What, and waste my time?
I ain't doin' no rubbish like trash!"
Or tell him to trim the hedge, 
and he'll growl very low,
"Leave me alone, Jack, I'm bushed 
and am staying planted right here 
so long as I can't figure out
what whack smack you are barking about."
Try to get a Grumbling to feed the fish,
he'll reply composed and reposed,
"I just can't do it, Trish, 
for I fear the only fish I'm hooked on
come off punch-lines and onto my dinner dish."
Though, the true problem comes
when the Grumblings are more than one.
Whereas 'a' Grumbling can be humbled into mumbles
with 'a' strategically placed TV 
(which he'll watch indefinitely),
if a number of Grumblings start 
stumbling though doors, jumbling out windows 
and falling in a bumble of tumbles 
down the crumbling chimneys narrow,
that grumbling will roar into a rumbling crescendo
that even the mayor can't fix,
because by then he'll be grumbling, too,
with little, if any, clue of how to save
a neighborhood that has gone to 
the Grumbling zoo.

Election Special

Anyway. So its not a big deal for you but the scene is thus.

We have 3 parties but only 2 that realistically that can win Conservative and Labor. Both are now centre right parties with pretty much the same policies just fine tuned. The choice for the voter is which brand do you prefer. Do you think New labor have done a good job, or if they haven’t have they done a better job than the Conservatives would? Can we forget the desolation the conservative government left in this country after 14 years even though we don’t trust Tony Blair? If we don’t like Tony Blair do we vote liberals and risk the Conservatives winning as a result?

Continue reading Election Special

A “short” Poem

I have a thing for Achondroplasic dwarfs
Not Geleophysic, Pseudoachondroplasic, or hypochondroplasic dwarfs
The other two hundred varieties of dwarf
apologies for not adoring, admiring, and appreciating your unique morphs

I’ll buy you a chicken coop to live-in
a hot-plate, stool, and wobbly table to get your knit on
Fully featured with adequately short linens
I see you cookin egg, tomato and mushroom with onions

Follow the yellow brick road
Wearing your shinny new specs and capris 
Down to my house with the little commode
Don’t get lost among the assorted spectrum of leaves

Dr Who (BBC TV Review)

I haven’t watched Dr Who since the abysmal reworking of the 80s and early 90s. They made it quirky, less serious, the effects still rubbish but so as to make it kitch and camp. There are a lot of people in this country who remember the good old days of Tom Baker, John Pertwee, and that guy who went on to be in All Creatures Great and Small. Anything since has been sacrilege.

Continue reading Dr Who (BBC TV Review)

Review: Returner (2002)

I was thinking of not reviewing Returner, but I feel that the word should get out on this one.

Synopsis: Skipping the lengthy rehashing of the plot on this one. Suffice it to say that the premise of the movie is what you would get if you combined the Terminator movies with E.T., then added a cup and a half of yakuza/Triads, topping the whole thing off with a sprinkling of CGI and cheap bullet-time effects (and is that a slight hint of The Professional I taste?).

Continue reading Review: Returner (2002)

Lord Pervertimore

This poem was inspired by Hordak’s MD flavored poem.

Welcome to Pervertimore,
knock on my door naughty minx
and I'll beckon ye' in
to spank your fanny,
feed you Calvert's special crab cakes
and the papaya nectar
of our love lingering on the thorny worm wood -
Ca-ca-ca!  I cry at your caboose,
nooked and sploondid,
from my depraved raven roost
where I sleep nevermore
one eyed in leery lust.

Saucey are the Crab Cakes