Monthly Archives: August 2006

d20 – Weave a Little Spell (Part I – The Basics)

Dragon's Den

One thing that always bugged me about the magic system in D&D and it’s d20 offspring is the reliance on the same old “spell slots” magic system. Via this system magicians get a certain number of spells per day. The magician fills up the memory slots in his head with spells at the beginning of the day and then casts the spells throughout the day, thus emptying slots which may be filled again after 8 hours of sleep. †

This was a magic system unlike any I had ever read in story or myth at the time†† and the fact that it neither inspired me nor modeled any aspect of the worlds I’d imagined or read about annoyed me to no end.

“Well, why not throw the whole game out the window?” you ask, “There are other RPGs out there with more cohesive magic systems… take Mutants and Masterminds for example, you could use that system to model any sort of power you’d ever want and it’s powers seem intuitively balanced and consistent.”

To this I can only say:

True.

But the nostalgia man. The nostalgia!

Continue reading d20 – Weave a Little Spell (Part I – The Basics) →

Search Terms Update

site news

Just thought I’d give you guys an update on our most popular searches. I always get a kick out of these. For the month of August, the most popular search term was “monkey bread” with 88 hits. The second most popular was “bot fly” with 9 hits. There must be some kind of internet fad going on with monkey bread right now; why else would it be generating 10 times the hits of other search terms.

Regardless, the full top 10 in order are:

  • monkey bread
  • bot fly
  • heathcliff
  • mandingo
  • zucchini bread
  • rice bugs
  • big bag big bag lyrics
  • homemade ant farm
  • really free mp3s
  • presto pizzazz

Two quick comments on this. First, of the top 10 search terms, 4 concern food (“monkey bread”, “zucchini bread”, “rice bugs”, and “presto pizzazz”1).

Second, only 2 of the top 10 represent “projects” of ours: “homemade ant farm” and “big bag big bag lyrics.” This of course assumes that the big bag search is referring to our song.

The combination of these two facts leads me to believe that we should retire from our creative efforts and make protozoic.com an online food magazine.

1 The Presto Pizzazz pizza oven is actually a popular search term and it shows up in various forms. It’s ranking would probably be higher if one counted all the variations.

Round Table Topic – Beholders vs Mindflayers

the mindlab

For many years I have been haunted by a reoccurring dream… beholders doing savage battle with mindflayers. Now, in a unprecedented event, I turn this topic over to the Protozoic forum. I ask you, our faithful readership, who would win? The beholders or the mindflayers? Why would they win? Which faction would win the respect of the umberhulks? Additionally, if a script version of beholders vs mindflayers was proposed to a major motion picture studio, what could be done to ensure that the screenplay was as exciting, if not “more” exciting than Alien vs Predator? Would the beholders fight the mindflayers in a large underground Mayan temple located in Antartica (sort of like Alien vs Predator)? Or would they wage war in downtown D.C.?

The table is now open.

An Outlandish Petitioner

the mindlab,

As the revels continue the Freehold gates, their chimeral aspect massive and dwarfing the hall’s celebrants, swing ajar. Their movement though is hesitant, cautious. Not the dramatic slam of pomp and grand entrance, nor the gentle swing they’d grant a welcome but timid visitor. The portal’s timbers seem to question one to the other in silent, wooden speech, “Is this a one to be allowed entry? Truly enough it braves the Silver Ban, but the fall of it’s tread echoes more distantly than that of folk who dwell within, and the rap of it’s knuckles resounds alien upon our planks. Yet it’s intent seems clear…”

Continue reading An Outlandish Petitioner →

Mr. Pony

Uncategorized 

Mr. Pony 
fancy-pants
doin' the Mr. Pony 
sparkle dance
Twirls 
   and 
      Spir-els
for the squealing 
                    girls
Who love 
that stupid pony

Shoney 
Money
Noney

with 
    regal hat 
    Pony-Prance
outta sight 
fat wildcat(s) trance
and ending(s) 
stop beginning(s)
on the giraffe neck(s).

Ending(s)

Uncategorized 
In the crowd
I heard someone say
to a lover of mine
never end
with a clincher.
She died.
I didn't attend her funeral.
I didn't wear black.
I was a cold drift.
I counted waves.
I said alone,
when things end, no one gives applause.

It Doesn’t Matter Which Camera You Buy

writings

Intro

Mike and I were discussing tonight that we need more content up on the site about our experiences in film/video making. So, here is my first installment. I’ll use this as a chance to talk about something we all know but sometimes lose sight of as well as introducing myself. There will be some foul language in the course of these discussions; blame my father.

One more note: All of this assumes that you, the reader, are much like us. We are not professionals, we are making independent film in any manner that we can because it is a passion for us. If you have a seriously professional schedule, often times choice of equipment and workflow is dictated by someone other than yourself and you clearly don’t need this kind of advice.

Continue reading It Doesn’t Matter Which Camera You Buy →

Proto-Con 2.0

the mindlab

It is a way off, but it is time to officially announce Proto-Con 2.0. Though the exact date and location of Proto-Con 2.0 has yet to be determined, it will most likely occur in October and be held in Maryland. So what do you need to do right now? Start making suggestions for events to occur at this year’s Proto-Con 2.0.

It also looks like we have some competition.

A Post-Content Saga (Part n)

the mindlab

Gaji hurled through the air her limbs twisting and gyring in odd directions like the spokes of a God’s Eye with it’s yarn being unwound, each movement carefully calculated to avoid the tripple-pointed, osmium filled, titanium jacketed slugs which would otherwise have torn through her soft humanish tissues. This body was a good one and she could keep it functional even after losing up to a third of it’s mass in the right places, but certain of her aesthetic tastes tended in different directions than the “brute force prevails” mentality. Basically she hated to mar the bone-white epidermal finish she’d so carefully cultivated lo’ these twenty some odd years of it’s existence.

Continue reading A Post-Content Saga (Part n) →

Spittin’ rhymes

the mindlab

ZOMBIE KILLAH!!

These lines they flow, the undead they know
That no one gonna let them bitches live, specially cool Joe
Cause now it’s time to show, how to kill’em hos!
Don’t do it slow, jus one final blow
Take the blade from the mow, just like sling blade bro
Droppin’ heads to the flo, just like that, there ya go
Some of em are funny, like curly, larry, and moe
Other are scary and chase yo ass like Cujo!


I get all the undead
And chop chop chop dem bitches’ head
Not here for lame ass bloodsuckas
Just rhymin’ bout zombies, muthafuckas

Do not run away, pull da trigga on ya uzi and spray spray spray
No time to delay, pull da hamma on ya saw’d off and spray spray spray
Don’t smell the decay, bust some caps in dem fuckas everyday day day

Some bitches tryin’ to get they rap game restarted
But they rhymes be crazy fuckin’ we todd did
Me I’m just rappin’ for the not so dearly departed
Got mad rhymes, now all I need is to get recorded
I get the zombie, and like Elian they get deported

That’s right I’m a Zombie Killa!
Not those fools in MJ’s Thrilla
Them bitches hard to find, only one in a milla
In this game the sword be mightier than a quilla
I just keep on cuttin’ till I get my filla
And I’ll jus keep on rappin’ til I a platinum sella

(Rough form rap, could definetly use some work and more words, but just add a “yeah, uh-huh yeah” intro and you’re set)