Top 5 Things to do with Soap

March 29th, 2005 @ 7:22 am by Mike

After I realized that Boobaah was a Teletubies type show, I seriously debated about changing my #1 made-up cuss word to something like Torp-noodle. It then dawned on me that this might be as pointless of an exercise as writing a massive unread in-joke about a mythical company called Chook for years, only to later debate if the choice of names was in fact the wisest.

Regardless, rather than be a George Lucas or Steven Spielberg-styled-revisionist about my material, I just decided to keep Boobaah as my #1 made-up cuss word and instead do another top five list. Accordingly, I’ve done a “clean” top 5 to the previous “dirty” top five.

Without further ado, here is my top 5 list of things to do with soap (feel free to list your’s):

  1. Wash with it
  2. Use Timmy’s soap
  3. Make soap shavings
  4. Get a rash from using Timmy’s soap
  5. Make up S.O.A.P. acronyms which act as the counterpart to the ever popular made-up cuss word/acronym S.O.D.

Posted in the mindlab | |

8 Responses to “Top 5 Things to do with Soap”

  1. dragon says:
    March 29th, 2005 @ 8:15 am

    1. Carve animals out of a block of it.

    2. Kill slugs - Seriously, put a slug in a tub of soapy water and it will die, producing a large quantity of slime (probably mucus) in the process. Then you can sell the slime as a childrens toy product, like when He-man would get coated with slime in that one old playset.

    3. Mark the outlines of your picture on a window before starting a halloween window painting.

    4. Inadvertantly producing splatter art all over the inside of your girlfriend’s room (works best when trying to juggle an open bottle of dish-soap).

    5. Washing out a mouth that’s been used to say cuss-words.

  2. bear says:
    March 29th, 2005 @ 9:27 am

    Ever notice how that He-Man slime would make your hands stink? Or was the the Ghostbusters purple slime? I think it was actually the Ghostbusters. The He-Man slime claim to fame was the fact that it really was slimy and was a binch to clean off. That and it got those little hard bits in it…

  3. hordak says:
    March 29th, 2005 @ 1:13 pm
    1. Breakfast
    2. Phallus carvings for fertility rites
    3. Getting the stink off
    4. Sabotage
    5. Sailboat races. (only works with a soap that floats…)
  4. djwebb says:
    March 29th, 2005 @ 2:29 pm
    1. Finding the gas leak in my copper LP Gas line.
    2. Hidding my illegal drugs (or so I’ve heard)
    3. Two words >>> “Caffeine Soap” The stuff works too!
    4. Masturbation (or so I’ve heard)
    5. To create a fever (retain a wet bar of soap under your arm pit for extended period of time)
  5. Mouth says:
    March 30th, 2005 @ 8:03 pm
    1. wash my hands
    2. wash my ass
    3. wash my feet
    4. wash my manhood
    5. wash my face in that order
  6. grue says:
    March 31st, 2005 @ 12:42 am

    My favorite things to do with SOAP.

    1. Put it in a sock and teach Private Pyle we are NOT to be fucked with!
    2. Wash away the horrible shame of existence
    3. LARP the Williams’ classic: ‘Bubbles’ (c. 1982)
    4. Shove it in that bitch’s mouth for lying
    5. Book really shitty third rate bands for field day at Shorebird’s Stadium
  7. hordak says:
    April 2nd, 2005 @ 12:19 am

    Goddamn, I wish we could mod the comments around here. Grue’s comment had me laughing beer out my nose. +1, man.

  8. grue says:
    April 2nd, 2005 @ 12:44 am

    Thanks man. Much appreciated.

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